I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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