I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
