But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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