I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
