you guys were way drunker than both of me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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