It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
