This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
