i jhust puked up my retainher.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize