I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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