the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I fill condoms, not promises.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
