I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
