My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
