I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
