I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
