Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Everyone says I win the strip club
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize