Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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