you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
