I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize