Do you still have your period?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
