I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
