So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
there is glitter all over my balls
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