I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
