Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize