so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
