Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
