I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
