My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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