Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
