Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And then my night got REAL pukey
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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