Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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