Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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