Are we in a gay sports bar?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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