Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
