Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
