What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
