Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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