i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
