so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
