in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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