An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
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