i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
