Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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