I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
