if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
