Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize