I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
