Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
