Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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