Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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