why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
