White coat. Heels.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
