Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
