Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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