this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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