The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
